Do you ever feel compelled to think outside the box? A few days ago, I felt burdened to minister to a man, who is suffering with severe health issues. Due to my schedule it appeared almost impossible to fulfill this task. My mind went into overdrive and I thought outside the box. I ended up buying my friend a hamburger and visiting with him, over lunch.
God made us to be in relationship with each other. We were made for community and we all want good friends. But what do good friends look like? What do they do or not do? In the most intimate of the 13 letters the Apostle Paul wrote that help form the New Testament, Philippians, we see a portrait of what to look for in a friend. Consider these 5 behaviors that a good friend will consistently live out and ask yourself if you model them as a friend yourself.
(The Shepherds Connection shares this article to give wisdom to all who face such issues.)
If all the questions church people send my way this may be the most difficult.
Our pastor has been here umpteen years. He has lost his vision and his energy, and the church is dying. At what point does a pastor need to be told that his time here is up?
There are no simple or easy answers to this. Handled wrongly, this matter can destroy a church, inflict a terminal wound to a veteran minister, and hurt his family in lasting ways.
A recent husband/wife confrontation left me torn between two extremes, laugh or criticize. This episode went something like this. I came home at the end of the day and had to pick up our garbage can at the end of the driveway. After unloading the garbage can by our garage, I parked my truck in the garage. I mistakenly left the tailgate on my truck down. Leaving a tailgate down is not conducive to lowering a garage door. See where I am going? LOL!
Do you resent someone in your church or a former church? Come on, ministers don’t carry resentment, do we? LOL!
I once struggled with resentment toward a group of leaders who thought it was time for me to change churches. They thought they knew God’s will for me and for our church.
I once struggled with resentment toward a group of people who deserted our church and went to the church down the street. They thought the other church was more spiritual, and more spirit-filled than our church.
Recently I took a friend to a catfish pond, in pursuit of the “big one.” I must say up front, it was not a good day for fishing, but it was the only time available. It was cold and the wind was blowing out of the east. My daddy always said an east wind would kill fishing.
Shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion but voluntarily, according to the will of God; not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.” (I Peter 5:2-3).
We have written extensively on this website about church members who take the reins of the church, calls the shots, and who bullies parishioners and pastors alike. But a friend wrote, “What are we to do when the bully is the pastor?”
We were excited about our youngest son and his family flying in from Chicago to spend the holidays with us. Did I mention we were excited about their visit? That is when “it” showed up. The check engine light came on in our van. Sometimes technology gives more information than you want to know. The computer adviser instructed us to get the van to a shop, pronto. That was not what two excited parents wanted to hear, especially when we were ready to head to the airport. (By the way, we did get the problem resolved.)
In Romans we find a warm word of thanks from Paul for his co-workers Priscilla and Aquila. “Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their own necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles.” (Romans 16:4)
In 2014 my wife and I built a new home. At the time we also added a small catfish pond. Over the past four years we have caught a few small catfish but no large fish, until this past Saturday. We had gotten a little discouraged because the fish did not seem to be growing. In fact, we caught very few fish in recent months.
I started this week feeling fruitless. I needed to write this blog, prepare a sermon for Sunday, and prepare a sermon for a prison ministry. None of the tasks came easily. The little productivity I squeezed out flowed like molasses. You know those weeks. Sunday is coming, and the sermon is not there.
As I drove to work, I pondered the fruitless stages of my life and asked myself the question: What does it take to rise above fruitlessness? I offer the following points. I even alliterated, for you preacher types. I hope my ideas will help.
I woke up this morning feeling a little glum in my view of people. Don’t be so pious, we all feel this way from time to time. People don’t live up to our expectations. People don’t stroke us as much as we would like. People aren’t as perfect as we want them to be.
Today I picked up a copy of John Maxwell’s book, “25 Ways to Win with People.” This book quickly refocused my glum attitude. I did a quick scan of the contents of the book and was reminded of the truth, “people are our business!” In short, the Lord reminded me to get over myself.
“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person” (Colossians 4:6). “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
Mary Todd Lincoln was gifted in the dark art of sarcasm. Her sister Elizabeth said of her, “She was also impulsive and made no attempt to conceal her feelings; indeed, it would have been an impossibility had she desired to do so, for her face was an index to every passing emotion. Without desiring to wound, she occasionally indulged in sarcastic, witty remarks, that cut like a Damascus blade, but there was no malice behind them.” Lincoln’s biographer notes, “A young woman who could wound by words without intending to was presumably even more dangerous when angry or aroused.” (Honor’s Voice: The Transformation of Abraham Lincoln by Douglas L. Wilson).
The past several years I have performed two jobs. I have served a church, as pastor, and I have served as a Director of Missions. As a Director of Missions, it is my pleasure to serve forty-three churches. There are times when the juggling act of fulfilling these two positions gets tedious.