Editor’s note: June is the start of Hurricane Season, but as we have recently seen churches need to be prepared to respond to disasters at any time. Caleb Magnino is the International Missions Pastor at The Woodlands Church in The Woodlands, TX. He has recently responded to numerous disasters, including Haiti, Hurricane Sandy, the fertilizer plant explosion in the town of West, TX, and most recently to tornado-ravaged areas in Oklahoma.
They are experiences that I will never forget.
Walking among the rubble, the destruction, hearing the stories of those who had now unexpectedly found their lives turned upside down with the onset of a disaster; shouldering the weight of the shock and seeking to bring hope in the midst of the storm…that was the task set before us.
In those moments when life is uprooted, when chaos ensues and questions abound, the church has an unprecedented opportunity to be a beacon of hope to communities of people who are in dark hours.
I’ve seen it firsthand.
Often the church is one of the first forces on the ground in a disaster zone assessing the damage, listening to the needs of the community affected, and organizing relief efforts. The church can be a powerful unified force in the wake of a disaster. Before FEMA or other government agencies respond, the church is on the move.
The key lies in strategic decisions made by individual leaders in the early hours and days following a disaster.
Disaster strikes. Now how do you respond?
First of all, be ok with the thought, “I don’t know…but I’m going to figure it out.”
Welcome to disaster relief.
Be proactive in your communication efforts with your church members…as in within a few hours of the disaster. Don’t wait until you have everything nailed down and all the questions answered. Initial conversation can be as simple as letting your people know that your team is starting to assess how your church can help those stricken by disaster. Give your people immediate action steps, including “Pray” and the option to “Give” financially to support relief efforts via your team, partner churches in the affected area, or other Christian relief organizations who will mobilize into the area. Feel free to also challenge your people to consider the “Go” option to volunteer to be part of relief teams that might be mobilized in the days to come. You may not have “the exacts,” but you can still start to cultivate interest and compile an email list.
Now let me be blatantly honest. Resist the urge to immediately start collecting canned goods, bottled water and especially clothing. While the hearts of those who give mean well, those items can often pose a logistical problem during a time of disaster response either due to transportation, storage or the relevance of donated items to actual needs of residents. Every disaster is different. Listen to the true needs of the locals and then make the call for donated items if need be.
How do you respond to unreasonable people? It might help if I describe unreasonable. Unreasonable people have an evil spirit, cannot be reasoned with, are impulsive and do things to hurt others. Every church has some of those people. A good example of an unreasonable person was Saul. Saul displayed all four of the aforementioned characteristics (see I Sam. 19:9-10). After God anointed David, to be King of Israel and before he took the throne, David had to deal with an unreasonable person, Saul. As you watch this story unfold it drags on over a period of time. This is much like the story we often see unfolding in our churches.
In I Sam. 23-24 you see how a man of God responded to an unreasonable person. I will list these responses in outline (sermonic) fashion. Who knows, you might want to use these at some point.
1. When dealing with unreasonable people seek God before acting. David did this on more than one occasion (I Sam. 23:1-2, 4, 10-12). David prayed much and waited on God. At one point he takes up the “Ephod.” The “Ephod” was a garment worn when a person was seriously seeking God. It seemed to represent the presence of God.
2. When dealing with unreasonable people set a good example for other people (I Sam. 23:3; 24:6). In verse 3 David’s men admit to being afraid. In 24:6 David’s men want David to take vengeance on Saul. In both instances David displayed a Godly example in his behavior. When I feel the impulse to be vindictive or to use my tongue to rip another person I am reminded of the suffering servant passage in Is. 53. In verse 7 of that chapter it said, “He did not open his mouth.” What an example!
3. When dealing with unreasonable people do not respond in kind (I Sam. 23:15; 25:1-6). Saul acted in an ungodly manner but David did not return the favor. If people act one way it does not necessitate that we follow suit. If we display a Godly example, other people will eventually show their colors.
4. When dealing with unreasonable people let God decide who is right (I Sam. 23:7-9, 26; 24:12, 21). It is amazing, when Christian people disagree everybody thinks God is on their side.
Not long ago I read an account of the Civil War. This particular writer pointed out that everyone claimed God was on their side. Only God has the right to decide who is right and who is wrong. When everybody claims to be right everybody proves to be wrong. President Lincoln in his Second Inaugural Address said, “Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other... The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes. "
5. When dealing with unreasonable people do not become bitter or cynical (I Sam. 24:5-7). David did not allow Saul’s irrational behavior to force him to be bitter, angry or cynical.
The preceding qualities are hard to emulate. They are Christ like qualities. I have come to believe, if I cannot display Christ like character in the midst of a trial that may be why I am going through the trial. Ouch! Ouch! Yes, I said it twice. Our world and our churches need to see Christ like men standing in the pulpit. I pray that God would help me to be one of those men.
Has God ever vetoed one of your ideas? He has vetoed more of my ideas than I care to admit. I wish my walk with Christ was such that I always have his stamp of approval before moving forward. That is not always the case for me. I have a hunch that you readers can identify with my failure.
A veto, from God, could have several meanings. It could mean He caused something to fail. It could mean the timing was not right. It could mean He has something better in mind. What kind of ideas does God veto?
These are just the tip of the iceberg.
I once resigned from one church, in order to accept a call from another, and realized I had made the wrong decision. Sometimes God speaks through a still small voice. On that occasion I felt like I had been hit with a baseball bat. Thank goodness God and His people are gracious in such humiliating times.
God showed me an encouraging word on this subject. When Jesus led Peter, James and John up the mountain for the transfiguration, Peter had what he probably considered, a brilliant idea. Peter said, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if You wish, let us make here three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” (Matt 17:4) God vetoed that idea! WOW! Consider these truths.
I am so grateful that God is gracious. He coaches us through bad ideas. He grows us from our failures. He raises us from our low points to greater service. The world penalizes failure. God uses it to prepare us!
I believe that the primary failure of 9 out of 10 pastors is the “Lone Ranger” syndrome. Pastors are trying to do the work of the Lord alone.
Most pastors lack a few good friends in the ministry with whom they meet with regularly for fellowship, prayer, study, confidential talk, accountability, a round of golf, a good meal and rest. A preacher needs a friend with whom he can hang out. This omission has seriously limited the ministry of many ministers I know. It surely weakened my service for the Lord.
I think of two critical times when I needed a few good buddies in the worst way.
When I first started pastoring I had a history degree, zero experience and no training in church leadership. Each week, as I worked on sermons, I reinvented the wheel. I started from scratch. II searched the Bible for something I could turn into a sermon. In the Birmingham suburb where we lived, there were plenty of pastors who would welcome a call from a 22-year-old preacher asking for advice. But, I struggled alone.
Another critical time occurred when the chairmen of deacons and the personnel committee stopped by my office to announce that either I relocate or that a move would be made to get me out of that church. I was stunned! I needed support when that little delegation delivered their ultimatum. However, I needed counsel when I was beginning to learn the nature of my tasks and the size of the obstacles I faced.
I regret not calling a half-dozen friends to drop what they were doing and come visit me. I should have said, “I’m in a crisis situation and need you.”
They say a true friend is one you can call in the middle of the night to come help bury the body and he does and never asks for an explanation. Now, my friends would have exercised a little more discernment than that, but they would have been there; I’m completely convinced of that. But I did not make that call and went on alone.
“The Lord was there,” you say. He sure was. And so was Margaret, my wife. We had a back-porch custom in those days where we sat and unloaded. (The agreement she and I had was that we could say anything on the porch, but could not bring it inside the house. It was a good system, one we have recommended to others in the years since.)
But I needed one thing more: I needed a few buddies.
These days, I frequently have the opportunity to address young ministers about the work to which the Lord has called them. One point I drive home is that among the things they’re going to need, “a couple of buddies” ranks toward the top of the list.
Too many pastors today are like Elijah, a loner in every sense of the word. The problem is, as any professional counselor can tell you, solitude makes the person vulnerable to loneliness, depression, even anger, sometimes thoughts of suicide, and then, oddly, pride.
We see every one of those traits in Elijah.
“Lord, I’m the last one you have left.” (I Kings 19:10, 14 He said it twice!)
Woe is me. Everyone else has given in to the enemy. I’m the Lord’s last hope.
Not so, said the Lord. In fact, He answered the prophet, “I have 7,000 who have not bowed the knee to Baal.” (19:18)
Elijah was too smart to argue with God, but we can imagine him protesting that the others were holed up in caves somewhere, while he himself was on the front lines, risking everything for the Lord.
The lone ranger syndrome can produce depression and thoughts of suicide and at other times, pride and egotism.
The Apostle Paul is a better role model for today’s pastor. We get the impression from Acts 9 that he began his ministry as a loner. Soon, he made the discovery that this was a dead-end route, that he would need friends. “Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles.” (Acts 9:27)
Later, when Paul barely escaped from Jerusalem with his life, he returned home to Tarsus for an indefinite period. We wonder what was going on in his mind at that time. Was he making tents and studying the Word? Was he feeling like a failure? Was God letting him marinate a bit before returning him to a far greater ministry?
When revival broke out in Antioch of Syria, Barnabas happily discovered that Gentiles were coming to Christ in vast numbers. He remembered that God had called Paul as a missionary to that very group. Acts 11:25 may be one of the most important sentences in history: “Then Barnabas departed for Tarsus to seek Saul (Paul).”
When Paul became a missionary, he went with Barnabas. Later, he took Silas and then Timothy, while John Mark accompanied Barnabas. No one went alone.
Are you struggling with questions about success? Come on don’t be so pious! All ministers struggle with this question from time to time. The classic example is Joshua. After Moses died God chose Joshua to lead the people of Israel. Talk about big shoes to fill. Talk about an inferiority complex. Joshua struggled with this task. He needed words of encouragement from the Lord.
The struggle with success plays itself out in many ways. Sometimes we struggle with the “poor little old me syndrome.” We compare ourselves to the superstar preachers and that makes us feel small; or we struggle with the church-down-the- street syndrome (“The church down the street has welcomed more new members than our church”); or it may be a struggle with “location syndrome” (“why did God place me in this location?”); or we struggle with the last pastor syndrome. (“I am not as popular as the last pastor.”)
I had an interesting experience in my first church out of seminary. I served in a small rural church in Mississippi. The church I served was located about ten miles from town in a rural area. We defined the phrase “rural church.” There was a church in town that was “blowing and going” as we say. They had a nice building and were gaining many new members on a regular basis. I remember feeling somewhat envious of that church’s pastor. I thought to myself, “I will be happy when I don’t have to live under his shadow.” Guess what happened? Sometime later, I moved to another church about two hours away. The pastor from the previous town moved down the street from my new place of service. The same scenario repeated itself. His church appeared to do better than mine. In each of those situations the church I served prospered; however, the prosperity was not equal to the church down the street. I struggled with questions of success.
In studying Joshua’s experience, several lessons come to mind. First, take time to listen to the Lord. The Lord always has a word for our situation. Sometimes we are so busy that we miss a relevant word from the Lord. We need to spend time praying, meditating and bringing our struggles before the Lord.
Secondly, as God spoke to Joshua, He reminded him of his calling. God chose Joshua to be Moses’ successor. God’s call gives value and purpose. God’s call, in and of itself, is reason to celebrate. We tend to rate success on man’s standards and on man’s opinions. If we are following God’s call, that call, in and of itself, makes us successful. We are doing what God called us to do.
Closely related to the previous thought is that of faithfulness. God reminded Joshua to be himself. Every pastor cannot pastor a mega-church. Every pastor cannot write a bestselling book. Every pastor cannot speak on the seminar/conference circuit. The pastor who is faithful in the small rural church is successful. The pastor who is faithful in the traditional rural church is successful. The pastor who is faithfully working with difficult people is successful.
God told Joshua, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (1:9)
We will face many trials as we serve in ministry. Trials such as sickness and death of friends, divorce of fellow believers, personal sickness, family issues, and people issues, just to name a few. It is hard to say which trials will affect us the most. There is one trial that may very well be the most debilitating and most difficult to overcome. What is it? The trials created by our own personality quirks.
Let’s look at the topic. All of us have personality quirks. I love watching the detective show “Monk.” Monk reminds me of us. He is his own worst enemy. I know! Monk has deep seated personality issues that require professional help. I have always told congregations I served, “we are all one step away from insanity.” We may not be as quirky as Monk, but all of us have them. Consider these examples: OCD, the tendency to be a control freak, obsessed with work; paranoia, by insecurity and anxiety; and chronic worriers.
In the Bible the classic example of a man with a personality quirk was Jacob. Jacob had to be in control. He always manipulated circumstances so that he would come out on top. Have we not seen that in ministry? This is seen most clearly in Genesis 30-32 as Jacob played a game of situational chess with Laban.
The beautiful thing about God’s sovereign work in our lives is that he changes our spiritual dimension but also our personal/emotional lives. Over time God changed Jacob from being a control freak to being a man of faith. That required time and surrender. In Jacob’s life the masterpiece of God’s work occurred at Bethel (Genesis 35:16-26) when Jacob wrestled with an angel. This encounter moved Jacob to a new dimension in his service to God.
The tricky part is that we do not shoot ourselves in the foot while God fulfills His work in us. So what can we do to confront our quirky nature?
It is inevitable that we will face trials as we serve in ministry. My prayer is that my personality quirks not contribute to my trials. Occasionally pastors walk into my office and begin talking about church issues they are facing. The sad part is that sometimes the man is as much, if not more, a part of the problem. Even sadder is the pastor who cannot see his weaknesses. His pride blinds him.
Only by the grace of God do any of us contribute to God’s sovereign work in our world. Our sin, our sinful world and our personality quirks are formidable foes. My prayer is that God sovereignly change us, as He did Jacob. He wants to change our world through His imperfect servants.
The title of this article contains three disturbing words, “Quitting the Ministry.” You might be reading this article to see to whom the words refer. It could be you! It could be me! We do not relish the use of these words regardless of the source. We do not expect God’s men to quit. Secretaries quit, electricians quit, and plant workers quit, surely pastors do not quit.
The truth is, anyone serving in ministry has entertained these three disturbing words from time to time. The causes are many: difficult people, discouragement, burnout, depression, feeling ineffective, the list goes on.
When looking for Biblical inspiration it seems as if we can always look to Peter for an example. Peter experienced the full range of spiritual struggles while following Jesus. In John 21 we find an occasion when Peter seemed to struggle with his calling. Jesus had risen from the dead, but Peter and the other disciples had not discovered the full significance of this good news and its impact on their lives.
During this time, Peter and several of his fellow disciples decided to go fishing. We do not know the reason for the fishing trip. It could have been doubt, a time to relax, a need to raise funds, or a time of wavering in their call. Regardless of the reason we learn several valuable lessons about facing the empty times of ministry.
First, regardless of their reason for fishing, Jesus did not condemn the disciples for going fishing, nor did He condemn the motivation behind it. Were they motivated by doubt, discouragement, guilt, uncertainty, self- condemnation or similar negative emotions? Just because you get down does not mean Jesus is down on you. It is okay to withdraw and look for answers.
Also, there is nothing wrong with empty nets. As Americans we abhor failure. Jesus often uses empty nets to teach us His abundance. When we have tried our way and our methods (remember Peter was a fisherman by trade) and come up empty that leaves plenty of room for Jesus and His fullness.
John’s gospel tells us the purpose behind this fishing experience. “After these things Jesus showed Himself again to the disciples at the Sea of Tiberias, and in this way He showed Himself.” (John. 21:1) Did you notice that word, “again?” Jesus wants to show us he can turn empty nets into full nets. Jesus reveals Himself again and again until we get the lesson. John said, “This is now the third time Jesus showed Himself to His disciples after He was raised from the dead.” (John. 21:14)
In the seasons of emptiness Jesus does His greatest work in us. We do not want to hear this truth, but it is truth we need to hear. As Jesus walked Peter and his comrades through this failed fishing trip He prepared them for their next phase of ministry. As we claim the promise of Romans 8:28 we can be assured that empty nets are a prelude to the Lord’s fullness and a bright future.
“Confession is good for the soul,” so said Peter De Vries. I must confess that on one recent winter morning, I awoke inundated physically, emotionally and spiritually in a deeply depressed state. I think Webster would have said, “He’s in a deep funk.” Although I always try to will myself to never be overtaken with those feelings, it would have been easy for me to have justified (rationalized) my feelings. For several nights in succession, arthritis had kept me awake ‘till past four in the morning. I have witnessed the discomfort of friends suffering with Restless Leg Syndrome; but I had battled Entire Body Restless Syndrome, and my sleep was disturbed by horrible recurring nightmares. I know, this is all a part of being blessed with Old Age, and as I often tell others, “More age is not going to help it.” This is topped off by the never fading sense of joy of knowing that my Bobbie is in heaven. I dearly miss her.
Have I dragged you down with me? Well, I hope you will find hope in the rest of my confession! Dressed for the day, I cranked Old Betsy and, wiping back some tears, started for my office and work. My radio was tuned to KJAE, and Mel was presenting his usual morning devotional time, and Guy Penrod’s voice, accompanied by the Gaither gang, interrupted my sadness with his rendition of “Just Knowing that You’ll be There, Makes it Easy to go Home.” I sang along with them. This was followed by another Gospel Artist Joe Pearls singing, “I Knelt and Prayed for You Today,” and I was refreshed by the knowledge that Christian friends from Louisiana to Montana pray for me each day. I was feeling better.
Then Mel, with his inimitable voice and his always pleasant but descriptive use of words, did his brief but powerful message about the Apostle Peter wanting to go on to heaven with the Lord (John 13:37), but he was left on earth. Mel’s explanation of why we are left on earth and God’s purpose for our being here, well, I just asked the Lord’s forgiveness for my backsliding from the sunshine of God’s love into a case of the Blues. Then the late George Younce sang a rendition of “That Says It All,” which is a song of assurance of God’s presence with us when we are in our “valley of the shadows,“ lifted my spirits for the ministry God had already laid out for my day. God used these two radio friends to lift my spirits.
God always has answers and help for us if we will just look and listen for Him to speak! I have found that when I need help, if I call on God and ask, He soon supplies it in the most unusual ways!
Have you grown complacent in your service to God? This question is both insulting and disturbing. It is insulting to the hard working pastor who is giving his best in service to God. It is disturbing to the person who has slid into a pit of complacency. To the pastor who is doing his best, it is a warning to guard against the drift into complacency. To the pastor who has drifted into a complacent spirit it is a wakeup call.
As I pondered this subject I remembered a text I studied years ago. “Moab hath been at ease from his youth, and he hath settled on his lees, and hath not been emptied from vessel to vessel, neither hath he gone into captivity: therefore his taste remained in him, and his scent is not changed.” (Jer. 48:11) Moab had become stagnant. Jeremiah described a people who had become complacent, arrogant and satisfied. This verse describes a people who developed a complacent attitude toward God. There was more of a rebellious arrogance and complacency, as we know it. However, the complacent attitude is an affront to God, regardless of your heritage.
What causes pastors to become complacent in their place of service? Consider the following reasons: .
The most surprising thing for many pastors is learning their greatest opposition, their biggest problems, their major obstacles to doing the work the Lord sent them to accomplish is coming from within the membership.
Pastors must learn to expect problems and to "play through" them.
Play through the pain. Go on doing the work the Lord called you to do even though some in the congregation hate your guts and resent your presence.
I did not say all these who oppose you are sweet godly saints who mean well. Some are.
Some are tyrants out of hell intent on wreaking havoc in the congregation.
And - don't miss this - some are a mixture of the two.
For reasons that baffle me, even the smallest of congregations will frequently have a few people with a thirst for power. They want to control decisions. Why in the world anyone would want to be a big frog in a small pond escapes me. But they do.
It brings to mind an old song about a fellow named Charlie Brown, who kept asking, "Why is everybody always picking on me?"
Pastors can be crybabies and wimps. "Oh no. My congregation is having problems. Where is God when it hurts?"
It comes as a surprise only to a very few that pastoring a church can be extremely hard work. Rewarding, fulfilling, challenging, and blessed. But there are times when it taxes the child of God to the core of his being, when it tests his sanity, and drives him to question everything he ever believed about the faith he is proclaiming and the people he is serving.
Only the strong need apply.
They used to say that only the hardiest of stock settled the early American west. "The cowards never started and the weak died along the way."
There's something about that which fits the ministry.
What triggered all this for me were the sports announcers on ESPN the other day. They were talking about Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback. He had an ankle injury this year, and made every effort to play on in spite of it. Whether this is smart or foolhardy, we'll leave to other people. The commentators were of one mind on it, however: Isn't Big Ben great! He doesn't give in to a little injury. He knows how to play hurt!
I've played hurt. You too, pastor? I will go so far as to say that every pastor who stays in the Lord's work for any period of time will sooner or later "play hurt." He will have a serious burden or strong opposition or major trial or some kind of massive handicap which would destroy a lesser individual ("a career-ending injury" it's called in sports), but he still stands in the pulpit preaching, still goes to the office, still leads his church.
Every week I hear from pastors and/or their wives with similar stories of great upheavals in their ministries. The one this week said, "I perceive that you too have had troubles and trials in your life. That's why I decided to write you."
What is your view of the people in the pew? These are the people we lead and serve. These are our co-workers. Our view of these special people will determine our leadership style and, to a great extent, our success in ministry.
I have observed many diverse attitudes harbored by pastors and staff, toward the people we lead.
Depression is one of the most debilitating maladies afflicting mankind; and even among Christians, it is rampant. Depression has been around for a long, long time, and many prominent persons have experienced its sufferings. David, a man after God’s own heart, described his despondency with these words, “I sink in deep mire where there is no place to stand. I am weary of my crying; my throat is dried.” (Psalm 69:2-3) And he also cried, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? Why are you disquieted within me?” (Psalm 42:5.)
How can one overcome depression? Doctors do not have ready, sure answers, but there are some steps one can take. One, you can copy David and admit, “O my God, my soul is cast down.” (Psalm 42:6) You can tell God about your problem and ask for His help.
Two, you can seek the help of a competent physician. Often, depression is caused by some physical disorder or malfunction which proper treatment can correct. That ruled out, competent counseling is in order. (I highly recommend that you find a Christian counselor.)
Three, you can turn to God in prayer and trust. “I will say unto God my rock, why have you forgotten me? Why go I mourning? And in the darkest hour, you can know that the Lord will command His loving kindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with you. Your prayer unto the God of your life will be heard.” (Psalm 42:7-9) You can ask that “his light and truth lead you.” (Psalm 43:3) You can “go unto the altar of God--you can praise God and claim His joy”. (Psalm 43:4)
Four, there are some disciplines that you can employ. You can determine that you will “rejoice in the Lord.” You can count your blessings and thank God for each one. You can practice praying about everything. You can refuse to worry - you can think about good and beautiful things and refuse to let your mind dwell upon sad, disturbing things. You can find things needed and useful to do. Keep busy doing them! (Philippians 4:4-8) You can and must do physical exercise - walk, swim, jog, keep physically fit. Look for and enjoy the beauty of God’s creation; and keep on hoping and looking for that better day. Read your Bible - especially the Psalms - and keep company with good, happy Christian people, keep smiling, and it helps to occasionally laugh at yourself.
Do you experience Monday Blues? Today I was visiting with some fellow pastors when the subject of Monday Blues came up. Lay people might not understand the pastor’s perspective on this subject, even though Monday Blues is a universal language. For lay people the Monday blues are the result of a busy weekend and passive rebellion about returning to work on Monday. For pastors the Monday Blues are the result of an exhausted spirit.
As I reflected on this concept several thoughts come to mind. Is there spiritual truth to address the Monday Blues discussion? I am reminded of two passages that reflect on the issue. There is the passage in I Kings 19 when Elijah had a meltdown. Elijah had been wide open in ministry mode. Some of his greatest ministry deeds occurred prior to this meltdown.
The other incident affected Jesus. (Mk. 5:25-35) Jesus was walking through a crowd when a lady with a blood infirmity reached out and touched the hem of His garment. Jesus said He felt “power” go from Him. Jesus disciples did not understand this incident. They saw the crowds pressing around Jesus. They thought someone from the crowd had touched Jesus. Jesus knew otherwise. He knew that ministry drains power from the minister.
Both of these incidents illustrate a universal principle. Ministry drains energy from you. This is why Jesus often went aside to pray and replenish His spiritual energy. Jesus managed his depletion by going aside to meet God.
Elijah did not do so well. He crashed after his intense period of ministry. He was depressed, discouraged and defeated.
These stories remind me of an important principle regarding the pastor’s Monday Blues. We can be cynical of these blue feelings or we can embrace them as a fact of life. Ministry depletes your resources. When we embrace this truth we will act proactively toward the negative emotions.
Have you ever been guilty of being your own worst enemy? This is a hard truth to discuss and it’s even harder to admit guilt. This being the case I will begin with transparency. Hopefully you will see me as a fellow struggler and not a stone thrower.
I once found myself to be my own worst enemy with a group of deacons. This group of deacons fulfilled an administrative role instead of a ministry role. This is fairly typical in older traditional churches. Pastors struggle to cope with this type of deacon ministry. Our success or failure in coping with this situation is not altogether dependent on the deacons. Our success or failure requires that we manage our hearts properly. In my situation I failed because I stopped communicating with these deacons and emotionally avoided them. There were several times when I became frustrated with this group of men and failed to manage my frustration. My frustration caused me to turn inward (causing depression) and at other times to lash out in anger. This caused some of the deacons to become frustrated with me. I was my own worst enemy.
Consider this verse from Proverbs. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Prov. 15:1) Another person responding in an inappropriate manner does not justify my responding in an inappropriate manner. If I respond in an inappropriate manner, I become my own worst enemy. Ultimately, I am not responsible for the other person; I am responsible for myself.
Over the years I have seen a number of situations where individuals become their own worst enemy.
Consider these examples.
During my 83rd year, I visited my friend and trusted physician for a regular checkup. He asked, “How do you feel?” I said, “Alright, I guess.” Sensing that he was waiting for more, I said, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel – you should write a book telling me how 83-year-olds usually feel!” His answer was, “I can’t; I’ve never been that old.” Well, I’ve now been blessed to have celebrated my 85th birthday. So that others might be better able to answer their physician’s inquiry, maybe I can shed some light on the subject.
At 85, one must recognize and acknowledge at least to himself, “I’m not as young as I used to be, and the old grey hoss ain’t what he used to be!” There are some things you need to leave undone and don’t fret about it. The combination of age and mileage takes its toll; so, find something you can do and enjoy doing it. Instead of fretting (stressing) over what you can’t do, thank God for what you can do!
Regular trips to the physician and monthly trips to the drug store are a part of the senior lifestyle, and you budget for that. The price hurts; but if it’s any consolation, comparing the prices and income schedules, I was paying more for some medicine in 1950-55 than I pay today. Thank God for the advances in medical care.
I’ve also learned that not too many people are really concerned about another’s aches and ailments. So, talk about the beautiful day, etc., and find something about which to compliment your companions. I’ve tried many remedies, and a frown and/or a groan has never relieved a pain or cured arthritis. At first, a smile may not make you feel better, but it does wonders for others and will make you look a lot better.
I’ve found that thinking about my physical limitations and ailments tends to increase my discomforts; so in keeping with the Apostle Paul’s admonition, I look for “things that are true, things that are noble and lovely, just, pure, virtuous – of a good report and worthy of praise, and I think and meditate on these.” (Philippians 4:8) I refuse to let my mind stay in the dumps. I deliberately, intentionally, Rejoice in the Lord. (Philippians 4:4) I stay busy doing what I can for the Lord and others. I refuse to think about being old. As someone has said, I had much rather be a young 85-year-old than an old 40-year-old.
As you grow older, may God richly bless!
I just returned from a building materials store where I purchased two new doors for our home. After paying for the doors, I drove my car into the loading yard to be loaded. While waiting on the loading attendant I reflected on how I have changed. At one point, not too many years ago (I am 59); I would not have waited on an attendant. I am a do it yourself kind of guy. I take care of most projects around the house. (No, I am not like the “do it yourself guy” who, when his wife asked his help with a project, replied “do it yourself.” A little humor there!)
This time of reflection reminded me of an important truth. There are times when we need to “let go” rather than pushing on and doing things ourselves. This reminded me of Jacob. Jacob was a do it yourself kind of guy. He was impulsive, self-sufficient, a manipulator, and a person who needed to be in control. It is hard for God to build faith when those qualities control our lives. For Jacob, this changed over a period of time. However, the most significant change occurred after he experienced an all-night wresting match with God’s messenger (Gen. 32:22-32). That experience changed his life; God taught him how to let go.
As I applied the building materials experience to that of Jacob several important truths emerged.
First, we need to recognize and acknowledge our limitations. As a 59-year-old I cannot do the same things as a 19-year-old. This is hard to admit, but the wise person learns to admit this truth physically, spiritually and emotionally. Jacob learned that he could not always be in control.
A recent movie that enjoyed great popularity was “The Blind Side.” This movie tells the true story of a young African American who went from homelessness to become an All American football player at Ole Miss. The story includes the football player plus a white family who took him in and provided nurture and a home.
The movie’s name could provide the plot for many who are involved in God’s work. I open my heart to allow you a brief glimpse. Last week I was asked to speak in a small church on Wednesday night. In preparing for that experience I had a humbling encounter with pride. Most all of us know Prov. 16:18 by heart or at least the truth. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” As I prepared for my speaking engagement I had a much needed encounter with the Holy Spirit.
As I prepared for the engagement I made several mistakes. First, I consulted my memory before consulting the Holy Spirit. I mentally ran through a list of sermons I had preached in the past. I was looking for the easy, fun sermon that did not require a great deal of preparation. Also, I chose the sermon that seemed appropriate for the occasion. Remember, this was done in my mind without consulting the Holy Spirit. I spent some time preparing the message when the Holy Spirit finally got my attention. The Holy Spirit changed my plans. (Don’t you regret, when that happens. Ha! Ha!)
Last week, my mail person delivered an advertisement for a new book that purported to expose all the fallacies in the labels on all the food products. I suppose I should purchase the book; but I’m like the farmer who said he wasn’t farming half as well as he knew how to farm now. I am not eating half as healthy as I know how to eat!
But, I guess I should pay closer attention to my diet. Someone has said, “We are what we eat.” I suspect my problem, as well as with many others, is not what we eat that’s killing us; but rather, the amount we eat. Close observation at Walmart will confirm my suspicion. We might point out that when the super religious hierarchy wanted to really smear the Master’s reputation, they called Jesus “A wine bibber and a glutton.” (You don’t hear many sermons on gluttony. Too many preachers can’t afford to talk.) Self discipline at the table and backing off from the junk foods would probably save on our doctor bills and prevent lots of suffering.
So much for the discussion on healthy nutrition; let’s consider the need to feed our soul and mind some food other than junk. Fox Satellite TV Station is advertising a new program; and the man in the red tights acts like the hit star in a porn movie. The air waves are filled with profanity and pornography. The vulgar language is useless to the plot, shameful and revolting. That we become what we constantly see and hear is verified by the ever increasing volume of filth produced. They produce it because it sells; and Satan must smile and clap his hands.
Much of the music (so called) is filled with degrading subject matter. In one current song, the writer pictures himself as being useless in most activities, but “he’s pretty good at drinking beer.” Another sings his request for “someone to put a drink in my hand,” and our President holds “beer conferences” with prospective voters.
A fast food store runs an ad showing two guys in a van discussing the food; the ad successfully “dumbs down" men and this is supposed to entertain us and motivate us to buy the product. It is no wonder that people are bored.
“As we think in our heart, so are we.” We are in great need for a better mental and spiritual diet this New Year!